My Egyptian fears

I am scared of spiders since I was a little girl. Generally I know that they cannot hurt me, but they are still terrifying. Shame on me. Almost thirty years old woman, mother of two, wife of Egyptian.

I wasn’t afraid to stand up to the whole world to marry my husband. Leave my homeland and go to live in unknown country.  With Arabian man. One of those, who “beat them wives, abuse them, hide their passports, kidnap their children”. I trusted my Egyptian husband and believed he would never hurt me.

And now I’m afraid of Egyptian men. Walking in the street without a reason.

Have you seen the Egyptian movie 678 ? There was a woman there who went to a football game with her husband. After the game ended, the spouses were separated. The wife was pulled a few meters further and was molested by a group of men. Surrender by a crowd of people. No one reacted. And what do I hear? “Why did she go there? She asked for what happen to her “O_o

For rape ?! She asked to be raped? How’s that ?!

“She’s an Egyptian. She lives in Egypt since she was born. She knows Egyptian  men. Access to sex is limited, and the needs of local guys with their temperament and spicy food … If she does not want to be raped she should not go to a place where there is a crowd of horny men ”

In the morning I saw a man. Egyptian. From the group of people walking on a street for no reason. The moment I noticed him, he was just standing there. But when I went to his side of the street he start to walk towards me. He even said something, but I do not know what exactly. I started to walk faster because there is a tourist police the begin of Mamsha, so I hoped there would be someone there. Someone except us.

The street light changed to green, so there was a line of cars right next to us. Good sign. I walked down the street.

And what was I really afraid of? After all, not that he’s going to kill me, or rape me, because the conditions were definitely not good enough. I was most terrified by my hair, flying with the wind. And tight shirt. I was afraid he would come and touch me. Isn’t that irrational fear?

I would not leave him alone, I would not have escaped if it had happened. I would try to kill this mf*, even if probably I couldn’t hurt him at all. The problem is that if he touched me,  I will not get back that feeling that it is my body and I have full control over it.

He did not come to me. He stopped in front of Mamsha. When I was coming back, I tried to see if he is still there. It was the only way home. I wonder what to do with my irrational fear of going there. Instead of a man I saw a woman selling newspapers. Dressed in a black burka. Black shoes, socks, gloves. I passed by. Wearing the top with short sleeves. With my hair flying with the wind.

I’m afraid that if something had happen, they would say it was my fault. That I provoked him by looking down. With my European look or trousers by the knee. I’m afraid they would say “why did you go out in the morning for bread? Did you not know that the streets are empty at this time? ” And yet I knew.

When the Egyptian man approached me asking “you do sex? I take viagra” on Friday afternoon I also knew it was time to pray and the streets would be empty. I especially chose this moment because in advanced pregnancy I preferred to go out in the time when there were fewer cars in the streets because of the two years old who was with me.

I know that it could happen anywhere. Everywhere. But it is really terrible that woman can be still found guilty of being raped.

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Author: e - Hurghada

I live in Hurghada for almost a decade. Married to Egyptian. Mother of two. I am not a native English speaker. So if you see any mistakes in my posts, kindly just let me know.

2 thoughts on “My Egyptian fears”

  1. Me being born and raised in USA for 41 years of my life and 2 years in Egypt(I’m 43 years old) to Egyptian parents makes rather qualified to speak on this subject. For the most part Egyptian men marry American or western women is because of the citizenship. They basically think all western women are hoes esspesicaly Americans. It’s astonishing how they have the idea that you can pick up any lady in America walking in the street and she will just go home and sleep with you. This outlook of American women even exist until this day in Egypt. And when I explain to them it’s far from true they are rather reluctant to belive me because I shatred a long life misconception they cherished and had. It’s surprisingly how uneducated they are about the rest of the world.The sad news is nothing seems to change their thoughts. The man marries the American women for a citizen ship while the family has his wife to be already set up. No Egyptian mother would want her son marrying an American women over on Egyptian. If you think so,you are rather fooling your self. Secondly the Egyptian male know now no Egyptian women would put up with his crap as far as controlling and dominating her.So the Egyptian male waits for a women who disentangle understand his culture or religion to keep her imprisoned at home. He will tell the American women she must stay home and that is the way things are in Egypt as he goes out a parties with other women behind her back. Yet at the same time you always see groups of Egyptian women going out with their girlfriends. And what’s better for an Egyptian man to dominate an American women? It’s revenge for him for all the strife America has caused in the middle east,so he thinks. Americans are only liked because of their money here. Deep down we are Jews to them(and thanks for Trump confirming this misconception). When the average American don’t even know where Jesurelum is located on the map. I am taking no sides of the coin here. I am being objective and calling like it is. I am not here to wave the American nor the Egyptian flag.Because neither countries care anything about their citizens.Unless you are one of the rich or elite. It’s all about the rich and poor.None of these governments care about your citizenship. They only care about your money. Yet when the Egyptian goes to America and sees how hard life is he becomes rather disgruntled and shocked. Yet further adding on his orginal hate for Americans. A lot of Egyptian think all Americans are rich. A lot do not even know until this day that they are homeless people in America. When I first came here a group of teens tried to extort me for money. Thinking because I American I am rich and soft as that for a matter! Lol,they had no idea how hardcore Americans are until I pulled out a butcher knife a chased them away. Until this day they call me the “crazy American”. El Americany el magnoon. Yet they don’t mess with me anmore. This how it goes in Egypt. For the most part you have to take the laws in your own hands because local authority won’t do anything. Unless you have money or good connections. And forget about calling the American embassy for help. They have nasty attitudes and act like they don’t have the power to do anything.Well what do they care? They are getting an attractive salary and have the world under their feet. So it makes me wonder what is the purpose of the embassy to begin with? It all red tape and jobs.Just like I said its all about your $$ it dosent matter where you are from.So yes American women,at the end of the day your a green card lady.Egyptian men specialize in this.

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